I finally got time to write. Actually I intended to write this a long time ago but my tasks in college were coming endlessly. And here I am in my spare time; talking about long distance relationship.
And by I say long distance, it doesn’t mean just different school or different city, but instead, I wanna talk about the long long distance one; different country.
So I was having a long distance relationship back then. And it was a very bad one that I promise my self not to have a long distance relationship again.
My ex went to Germany for his college. We were a lovely couple I could recall. We always believed that we can work it out no matter what happened. But guess what? I guess we’re not that special.
- LESS THING TO TALK ABOUT
When you grow apart from your partner conversely, your partner get to meet new people, & you get to meet new people too. The intersection of the diagram between “people you know” and “people they know” are getting smaller and smaller each day.
“it’s good then. you guys will have a new story each day!”
No honey, I’m sorry that world doesn’t work that way. In a really different spectrum of life, I realize that it’s weird to tell stories to person you don’t even intersect. And it’s 100% not their fault for not being able to understand. All i know what it feels lost. They are responding just in sake of responding. It’s like “I’m sorry I don’t have idea about your problem. I don’t know the exact thing happened there. But ok, let me try.” and THAT turned out to be the worst way to communicate ever. One day you will get tired of telling stories. And just it;
You started to not click.
And finally one day, you wake up and suddenly realize that you run out of things to talk about and inevitably just stop talking to them altogether.
- THE GAP TIME
The gap of time between us is about 6 hours. When it’s already 6 in the morning, in Germany it’s still midnight. Crazy, right?
“How does it impact?”
Think about this. My early morning became his middle of night. My busy afternoon became his fresh morning. My lovely evening became his stresful noon. And so on, and so on. I realized that we took effort a lot when we were dealing with this gap time. Not to mention I used to stay up late just to do video call.
When it’s evening on him, it’s already midnight on mine. The gap time makes the hormonal thing on our body interacts differently—while it’s hell for me, it’s lovely time for him. Time itself, often drives our mood. And mood itself, drives our behaviour toward each other.
While in the midnight I was feeling like a rush (because I’m afraid I’ll end up sleeping), he, gladly, often don’t feel the rushness of mine, and end up doing things so slowly (eating, playing games, taking bath) that I have to wait. It drives me mad.
I’m always mad with the reasons he failed to apprehend. He was clueless. He never know.
And the relationship that should brings you happiness, starts to make you sad and depressed.
Our time don’t match.
And just it; finally we lost the sparkle we were feeling for about 3 years.
I, by writing thing, don’t blame my ex. I realize that it’s hard for us two to go on with this kind of relationship. And I realize that we’re not that strong enough to cope up with the stress this relationship brings. But I just share my insights, the reason I gave up, and the difficulties I faced—just in case it can open your mind.
Actually I can continue with the uncountable lists but no, I’m just writing this because I feel like I need to share my insights of LDR. I may say that this thing will never work on me but for you guys that is currently having one, I wish you guys the best.
Um … hello, this is Nadya talking. I got new pen name, in case you’re wondering. The writing above is not mine, anyway. It’s the story of my friend, I’m only re-posting. Nonetheless, reading your opinion about this topic in the comment box still sounds nice. 😉